George Patton was once quoted as saying “Give me an Army of West Point graduates and I’ll win a battle!” In the world of volunteer ministry, we could probably say something similar - “Give me an army of church youth ministry workers and we’ll survive whatever activity is planned!” There is something special about youth ministry workers and that is what we are looking for in our next generation of missionary athletes here at the Saints Prison Ministry!
Nursery Workers
I tend to have several not-well-thought-out hot takes, but nursery duty is basically the same thing as prison ministry. There is a sign-in process to get in the nursery; the people who are dropped off really don’t want to be there; there is a good chance a fight may break out; they get terrible food; and they just want to see their families return. When considering whether or not to join an SPM team, if you have survived a tour of duty in your church’s nursery, you will do just fine on a trip with our team.
VBS Workers
These might be the toughest people in this list. Vacation Bible School volunteers are able to operate for a week straight in the most extreme temperatures. They are also able to run for days on diluted Kool Aid and Oreo cookies. They are able to teach a flannelgraph on the story of Samson, oversee an hour of craft time with nothing but popsicle sticks and a bottle of Elmer’s glue, and at the same time treat a poison ivy issue with a camper. In all honesty, prison ministry might not be challenging enough for these brave souls…
Youth Group Leaders
This one is a lot like serving in nursery but several times more dramatic. There are so many parallels for ministering to whiny teenagers and ministering with whiny missionary athletes. Nobody is going to agree on pizza toppings. There will be arguments over who gets to sit where in the van. There will also be several people who show up tired and cranky and who will argue with you on the rules to whatever game you may be playing. They also both smell funny after a long event but if you have served with the Saints or your church’s youth group ministry, you are probably numb to this already…
Bus Ministry Leaders
REDACTED BY EDITOR - Author has been warned several times not to write jokes about transportation and buses until recruitment numbers improve!
College Ministry Leaders
These folks are essentially gold if you can find them. They most likely have spent a tour of duty with the other mentioned groups in this article…and lived to tell about it! They also know how to get people in their early 20’s to do really hard things such as: operating a printer to fill out paperwork, correctly using a watch to show up to places on time, and using the ancient practice of responding to an e-mail to let your team know that you can attend an event!
Alright folks, you know who these people are in your churches! Let’s get them signed up for the ministry. You can tell them we have a jersey for them and a long bus ride so they can finally get a nap in!
